Kevin and I have been hoping to add one more healthy babe to our family- and despite some chaos and ovarian cysts at the start of the year, the stars aligned and a new little person is on their way to us! We found out just over a week ago (seems like it has been decades longer- these first few weeks are so hard.)
Thoughts on my 1st OB apt:
I switched from a big, mainstream OB with multiple offices. They are so busy that I can’t ever get in for an appointment. I was really uncomfortable with that since I have a high risk pregnancy. So I nervously switched to a small, 2 doctor office, that the receptionist described as “quaint.”
I’ll admit when I first showed up I was a bit put off by the office. I was told to be there a few minutes early, so I showed up at 12:45 for a 1pm visit and the entire office was locked. I realized they must be at lunch until 1- so i sat on the floor in the hall until they got back. When I went into the office- NO computers. It’s a very outdated, old school office. My appointment and phone number were written on a calendar in pencil, paper charts lined the walls in the back, and my medical history was taken down on a half sheet of paper.
When my weight was taken, it was on a very old (non-digital) scale that made big clunking sounds. I saw the weight and told the nurse that according to the scale, I had gained 12 pounds since yesterday. She said the scale was kind of “meh” and it was afternoon anyway. What?! Ok, note to self, track my weight at home. When the Dr came in, I was surprised to see that he was older, like, old. He must have started this practice and never got computers. In my mind I was getting ready to deal with the hassle of switching back to the busy office. But then, he talked to me.
He asked, “How are you,” and I gave a polite, “Good, thank you.” He raised an eyebrow and said, “Really, you’re not like riddled with anxiety?” Wow- this is the first doctor I’ve ever had who has addressed the obvious. Of course I am! This is my 9th pregnancy and I only have two kids at home! He immediately started offering provisions that would be helpful to me. He said for someone in my position, I would probably want scans every 10-14 days even just to help with the anxiety. Wow, I could never afford that, but I was thankful thinking that I am going to be in control of imaging when I feel like it’s necessary. This also means I don’t have to go to the MFM and pay them a million dollars for the same thing.
He also said we could start NSTs at 32 weeks and do them once or twice a week depending on if I was nervous or what I wanted. (Mind blown you guys!) He didn’t force me to do Lovenox injections just on protocol- I didn’t have to FIGHT him on anything- he totally trusted me and everything I’ve learned on this journey. He was happy to let me stay on baby aspirin through delivery. The doc was also fine with my progesterone supplementation twice a day, and I didn’t have to explain that I know the clinical research is inconclusive but it can’t hurt and might help! Plus I’ve had low draws in the past! He thought my diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes was a bit silly since it was by 1 point on the 3 hour- but we talked about ways of trying to avoid it this time. He agreed with how I want to treat my Hashimotos- like it was just all easy.
He told me how he and his wife had a couple losses also, and shared some stories of grief and how it really is a huge loss. That empathy is everything I think. Just knowing that helps me trust him more. He gets it and he wants to do everything he can to help ease my mind and watch baby carefully. On his way out he said, “We’ll get through this together.” My first scan is in 2 weeks, when I will be 6 weeks + 5 days to check for a good heartbeat. Then probably again two weeks after that to check growth. Their billing doesn’t charge for anything until the very end, which is an immense relief to me right now as we’ve had some unexpected financial strain (like i stay up at night crying and worried about it, type stress.)
Paper charts it is!
Also, it's a long story, but my BFF is moving this week (we've been inseparable since high school and have somehow ended up all over the country together, but she's headed home to Carolina without me.) A while back she designed a tattoo concept for me that I wanted for my little lost ones, a bouquet of flowers with specific meanings,
Baby's breath for everlasting love
Virginia Bluebell for humility
forget-me-nots
chamomile for patience
salvia meaning "i think of you"
and myrtle being the emblem of marriage (and the family they belong to)
Once the basic design was finished and the deposit was paid (!!!) I ended up not going through with it. I'm not sure why I felt so worried about it, but it is around the time we got pregnant so maybe it was just safer this way. Perhaps someday I will still go get it, I've been imagining something like it for years and I put lots of thought and effort into the design process. Obviously it was a very emotional decision to not get the tattoo right now, but before she moved, she drew the concept design onto a canvas for me- and literally there's not a more perfect gift from someone who just gets you. It was too beautiful not to share:
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