27 week update

We are in the last week of the second trimester!  It's been so hard to be patient through this year- but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We are only 12 weeks away (from my 39 week induction!)  3 months sounds like just enough time to get everything ready.  I'm getting really excited and hoping time doesn't drag too much.  Babies born between 27-32 weeks have a 80-95% survival rate. so every passing week is a big deal!

Baby is opening and closing her eyes now, and waking and sleeping at regular intervals.  It is such a miracle to think about.  I had one of those breakdowns this week that you don't have a real excuse for- where you're just sobbing and shaking- hungry and tired.  It just comes with growing another person.  Afterwards I just thought, "how could I possibly be upset?"  Yes it's hard, but I am actually carrying my rainbow baby that I've been dreaming about for so long, and all the hard stuff is totally worth it!

My lows this week included super bad SPD pain (it is starting to wake me up if I try to turn over in the night) and a bad cold.  I hate not being able to breathe easily or sleep!  I always get nervous to take any kind of medicine to help because there's always controversy about what's safe- but sometimes essential oils just don't cut it!  I also had a little spotting but it seems under control now and at least I can monitor baby's movements. 

We also had some really good moments this week!

I love snuggling all the soft things for baby and daydreaming in the rocking chair

I was able to get my own blessing dress out of storage and I can't wait to have Aidia blessed in it too!  I was a really small baby at five pounds, so hopefully she'll still fit at 2 months old when we want to do her blessing.  Mostly the hole for the head is super teeny!

We were able to finish the dresser this week!  It has paint on it now and is ready to be filled up!

I have to share a funny moment from this week.  Guess what my fat pregnant butt did?  I went to get a pita (my biggest craving for the past couple months) and instead I bought TWO pitas.  Yep.  Annnnd they were out of avocado which broke my heart...so I went to the store specifically to buy avocados and added them into my own pitas.  Do I have money to go buy two pitas/ should I be spending money on cravings like this? Nope! Haha!  But I had to laugh and just enjoy it because sometimes baby wants what baby wants.  Happy memories.

I was once again spoiled this week!  I put a post up about how much I want Aidia to have this blanket so she has some keepsake of being a rainbow baby.  Within a couple minutes I literally had multiple offers of people who wanted to make it for me!  Wow!  I feel so loved. I was just going to add it to my registry, but this is even more meaningful.  It's going to be beautiful!  

I've been getting lots of belly love lately as she starts growing faster and faster.  I tried to put lotion on my bump the other night, but couldn't do it because puppy was busy snuggling it.  It was maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Jack loves belly hugs too

Bonus! My Halloween costume arrived today, and I'm hoping it still fits in a month!  I love my little pumpkin <3  

26 week update

I feel like my belly has popped out yet again!  Maybe this little girl is following in Jack's giant baby footsteps after all.  We will see how much she weighs at our ultrasound in two weeks.  It's getting pretty hard to be comfortable already and she still has 13 weeks left to grow! (thank you induction at 39 weeks)

This week her eyes should open so she can practice blinking and start responding to any light that she's able to perceive.  Her eyelashes are all grown in and I can't wait to get a good look at that pretty baby face.  I'm hoping to be able to do a 4D ultrasound around 30 weeks and see what our daughter looks like.  Right now she is about the length and weight of a butternut squash!  Good thing they curl up in there!

One of my favorite moments this week was receiving a care package from my sweet friend in Idaho.  She made Aidia three hats, a blanket, and this adorable little toy octopus.  She has been calling baby Octavia or Octopus from the beginning because she is my 8th pregnancy.  I love that she made such a cute toy in honor of our miracle.  She always said 8 was her lucky number- looks like it's lucky for us too. 

I had one major scare this week.  It seems like there always has to be at least one.  I woke up with a start in the middle of the night, feeling like there was a knife in my belly.  At first, I thought it was round ligament pain from turning over and planned to just breathe through it.  The pain increased and was constant on one side.  It was a really scary feeling because it seemed like something really must be wrong.  I couldn't talk through the pain.  I thought I was going to be on my way to the hospital- but after about 20 minutes the pain changed and lightened slightly.  I watched it through the night and since there was no bleeding I was able to stay home.  Kevin looked at where the pain had been the next morning and said it went along the entire iliopsoas major- he thought I probably had a severe charlie horse cramp that started in the groin and went all the way up my belly.  It made sense- but wow, the pain was so bad.  I've been making sure to stay hydrated and I've started supplementing with magnesium to help keep those cramps down.  I'm glad baby moved a lot for me in the morning to let me know she was ok.  I haven't had another episode so I feel confident in saying it wasn't a kidney stone or burst cyst or anything else.

Jack and I have had lots of fun bringing in the fall season.  We had a family birthday dinner for him on Sunday and he is just the happiest kid!  Of course he is busy at school- but after school we've had fun dressing up the puppy in his halloween costume, Broncos jersey on game days, and of course a sweater anytime we go outside (because puppy is a big wimp.)  Plus my sister gave me an awesome halloween shirt for me and baby girl.  Haha!  I'm so excited for all the holidays to start- I think it will help the last 13 weeks go by faster.  <3

  

25 week update

We've made it to 25 weeks!  Little Miss is probably weighing about 2 pounds now and her heart sounds great!  I'm already so proud of her and all the odds she has overcome.

My doctor appointment this week was fantastic!  After hearing about Jack's birth and all the complications I had with it, he said we can do an elective delivery at 39 weeks.  I'm normally not a fan of inductions, but I have just dealt with this worry in my gut, and after hearing him say we'll induce a little early I feel much more at peace and more relaxed.  Technically I'll be 39 weeks on December 21, but I literally already have four family members that share that birthday.  So unless she comes early on her own, I'm planning on an induction for December 22!  THAT IS 99 DAYS AWAY!!  The doc said even though my weight and sugar are good, to just watch carbs and sugar to try and keep her size more normal since Jack was so big without any gestational diabetes.  He also cleared me for walks and light swimming to help prep my body and ease some of my pain.  I haven't tried either yet because I've had a really hard time walking and sitting with all my back and pelvic floor issues this week.  I'm trying to be brave about it, but I'm not going to lie, the pain brings me to tears usually at least once a day.

Even though I thought it would be brushed off, I tried to talk to my doctor about my fear of stillbirth.  He said to try not to worry about unexplained fetal death right now.  Even though it's been in my family, he said that doesn't necessarily increase my own risk.  He reminded me that my losses were so much earlier that it's a totally different ballgame now and baby seems very healthy.  He told me to try and stay positive.  He also said if I want, we can do stress tests the last few weeks and keep a close eye on her.  If we can do that and deliver one week early I will feel better.  I was told my Braxton Hicks contractions are normal for a second baby (since I'm having them daily an so much sooner than I did with Jack.)  It's a reminder to stay hydrated and the doc said warm baths can soothe them too.

My next appointment is at 28 weeks and I can't wait!  We get to do an ultrasound and check on her growth and development (which I'm hoping will be more relief and good news.)  I also get my glucose test, thyroid checked, and another chat with the doctor.  My anxiety goes way down when I feel like we are on top of prenatal care so I think that appointment will be good for me.

Just three more weeks until the third trimester!  As much as I've tried to enjoy this pregnancy experience (as I've learned not to take it for granted) I just can't wait for my daughter to be here safe and sound.  Kevin is counting down to graduation also (86 days)!  

Nesting is coming along little by little.  We got the crib set up this week, found a spot for the rocking chair, and put up some wall art.  I found a frame at the DI for two bucks, painted it, and made my own "mat" out of watercolor paper that I painted.  Not bad!  Building the crib was emotional for me.  It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen- fit for a princess.  I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time, and every time I see the crib I'm amazed all over again that this is really happening!

My cute boy turned five years old this week!  I could burst with pride.  He is doing so well in every aspect of his life.  I love my first miracle baby so much.

6 month update

VIABILITY!!! We've made it to a huge milestone for our sweet babe!  Now that she is 24 weeks, she is considered viable- which means every life saving measure will be taken for her.  If for some reason I went into super pre-term labor she now has a 50% survival rate outside of the womb.  While I by no means hope for a micro-preemie, it is a comfort to know that her life is considered worth saving now, and that it's possible.  However, hang in there baby girl, for at least another 3 months if not 4.

Aidia has grown stronger this week, just as I was hoping.  I saw a few kicks from the outside this week and Kevin was finally able to feel her moving around!  In fact, one morning when I finally crashed into a deep sleep after being up all night, and Kevin said he felt her kicking him right in the bum while he was trying to sleep-haha!

A this point, she has brain waves similar to a newborn.  That means she has conscious thought and memory!  It's a perfect time to be talking to her and playing music.  She is also about 1.5 lbs now and already feels heavy (uh oh.)

We're enjoying this nesting phase at home.  Her crib should be arriving soon and I've been trying to rearrange our room to fit the crib and rocking chair in it (not an easy task.)  Her name banner came to go above her crib and make that little corner of our room hers <3  I love it.  I feel so happy looking at it and thinking this dream is really happening.

My sweet friend who also happens to be an awesome artist painted me this picture for my birthday.  It fits Aidia's "yellow elephant" theme- which is what Jack told me his sister's room would be before we were pregnant. I love how cute it is and how much meaning is behind it!  One more touch of her in our home and it feels great.

We went to Idaho this week to visit my mom and step-dad, and even though it was thrown together last minute and was a quick weekend trip- it was a blast!  I was so happy to spend some time with them.  I don't think I'll be traveling any more until after baby makes her appearance, so it was perfect timing.  We went to the fair there and Jack was spoiled rotten.  So many great memories!  Aside from the embarrassing one when I had to get a wheelchair after walking a few miles because I started cramping and spotting.  Then everyone kept giving Kevin "aw" glances as he pushed his pregnant wife around for the rest of the night haha.  My parents spoiled me and baby too (naturally.)  Haha this shirt from my mom is perfect.  I'm excited to have a little girl to be my mini me, although I'm sure she'll still look like her daddy's side!

                                 

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow to check up on everything and do normal prenatal care and tests- then I'll have my next ultrasound in a month. I think as we get closer to delivery I'm getting more anxious about the complications I had with Jack (with his size and the difficult delivery and the year long recovery that included steroid injections right next to my stitches.  Yes, those stitches.  Ouch.) I want to make sure we watch her size and act accordingly so I don't end up in a C-Section which I narrowly escaped last time. I am also still anxious about stillbirth and her heart stopping if we go late at all- I've just seen it happen with so many MTHFR women. Naturally I'm scared of that after recurrent loss anyway. My hope is if I talk to the doctor he can calm some of these fears, since I'm sure many are not scientifically grounded. I am normally not a fan of inducing before the baby is ready- but I think with my risk factors and since I know the due date for sure (since we did ovulation tests etc) I feel peaceful with the idea of inducing at 39 weeks. Even if that causes a longer and more difficult labor. We will have to play it by ear. I just feel like she might be safer outside the womb at that point. Jack was born the day before his "due date" and he had already had a bowel movement, was in distress, and was huge. They would have let me go a week past my due date with him if I hadn't fought to be admitted and help the labor along (I was stuck at a 1cm with contractions every 3 minutes) and the thought of that makes me panic. He would have been in a really bad situation if he had been born much later. We will see what the doctor says. I also have to have faith that the labor and delivery will work out ok and that she will be safe. <3

23 week update

Well tomorrow is my birthday and I have to say that being 23 weeks pregnant is the best present ever!  All my birthday wishes over the years have finally come true.  Jack was born just 12 days after my 21st birthday- I didn't think I would be 26 before giving birth again.  I'm older, wiser, and even more excited!

 This week had some huge changes for our family because Mr. Jack Jack started all-day Kindergarten.  So far he is loving it!  I'll admit the new schedule of getting him up and ready and driving him to school has made me more tired than normal.  Up to this point I was getting my best sleep in the early hours of the morning since I toss and turn most of the night.  I know I SHOULD nap while he's at school but I always make these long to-do lists for myself and I feel guilty if I'm not super productive while he's gone.  It's a very short window that I have the house to myself to get everything ready for Aidia.  The anxiety and stress with him starting school were pretty high- I hope now that everything is in motion that I'll be able to settle in and relax.  I'd be lying if I said my mommy heart wasn't hurting this week with him at school- but I am so proud of him.

This week has had plenty of nesting opportunities.  Little gifts from people are starting to trickle in and I can't tell you how much it warms my heart!  We feel so loved and I feel like Aidia is so loved by so many.  These little surprises have made my day in ways I can't even explain!

One of our best finds this week was a rocking chair!  I had registered for one of the fancy armchair rocker at Target- but as luxurious as those are, I knew it wasn't realistic to get one.  They're like $400 with the ottoman and take up more space than we likely have.  I glanced at KSL once in a while but usually only found old and worn down nasty looking chairs- I still wanted something decent.  So the other day, Kevin comes home from work and says, "There's a rocker next to the dumpster with a free sign on it.  I think you'll actually like it."  We ran down there to check it out and wow what a great find!  For free!  I just need to wash it and try to fluff out the pillows a bit, but it matches the nursery and everything.  I feel so blessed.  That was just a tender mercy.  One less thing on my list!  Check out my cute chair!  Ignore the sun streaming in- it looks like someone painted white stripes on my couch.

My other favorite nesting project this week was getting my changing pad and cover in the mail!  I've been saving all the little deals from different stores to come along and I'm happy with the sales I've found.  The cover is a tad tight since I got a four sided changing pad instead of the more common two-raised-sides pad, but I think it will work fine. I love it because it is quilted and sooo soft.  I need to get around to finishing and painting the dresser still.  Maybe this weekend.

My only real concern this week has been with fetal movement.  I know at this stage it's possible to feel baby lots one day, and almost nothing the next (though it's always scary when that happens.)  I worry more that I haven't felt any strong kicks since that one last week.  Most of her movements now feel more like early flutters instead of any kicks or jabs.  I try to remind myself that I have an anterior placenta and that she is lying sideways.  My doc said by 24 weeks that shouldn't matter any more- so I am really hoping that the kicking gets harder this week.  Jack was such a firm kicker that by this stage it was already uncomfortable.  If it movement is still infrequent and subtle as the week goes on, I'll probably call the OB and ask about it.  Although I'm sure they'll brush it off since it's too early for technical "kick counts" which don't start until about 28 weeks.  As of now I'm just thankful every time I feel her move regardless. <3

22 week update

This week our little coconut is doing well!  Now that her movements are more purposeful, she's been "exploring" and kicking more, and Kevin even felt the slightest bit of a kick last night.  I'm excited for those kicks to be strong enough for him to really be able to feel her and participate more in bonding.  I imagine it always becomes more real for the daddy once he can feel the baby moving too.

I've still been struggling with the SI pain, especially moving at night, but the SPD has been under control so I'm thankful for that.  I'm sure it will be a challenge to keep it under control as I keep growing and my center of gravity keeps shifting!  I had one episode of spotting this week, which was unnerving to say the least, but the doctors aren't too concerned and gave me some things to watch out for.  Despite all the little scares, this little girl just fights through it and is determined to be a happy healthy baby.

My anxiety has been pretty high this week- but I think it's just natural with so many big changes coming up for us.  Obviously December is a big month for us, with Aidia due and Kevin graduating (and hopefully finding a job immediately)- but next week Jack starts full time school and I think that's what's really throwing me for a loop.  It's such a huge change and a new phase of parenting for me.  I keep hoping I've prepared him enough with all he needs to know to be away from me 7 hours a day, five days a week.  He is so excited and I know he is going to excel.  But somehow I still feel guilty about having my five year old spend 35 hours a week away from me.  I hope to spend the time at home working on all my nesting projects that are already driving me crazy haha.  I lay awake at night and think about every corner and forgotten cupboard of the house and feel like everything has to be totally reorganized and cleaned before we can bring a baby home.  

Cute little school uniforms and school supplies.  Be still my heart. <3

Who am I kidding?  This almost-five-year-old is so ready for Kindergarten.

I'm so excited that my amazing sister-in-law has made me the take home outfit that we wanted!  The second outfit was a total surprise but I love it just as much as the first!  It's going to be so perfect, I can't wait to see Aidia all snuggled and safe coming home with us.  

I'm thankful for the blessings of another week, that our baby girl is alive and well, and that we are only 2 weeks away from that viability milestone!  Thank you for your continued love and prayers!  <3

21 week update

Baby girl has definitely grown this week, because I sure have!  Those little kicks are slowly but surely getting stronger day by day.  My favorite fun fact of the week is that Aidia is now having more regular sleep patterns, and is likely dreaming!  I wonder what she dreams about- I'm sure the dreams are heavenly, I would love a peak at what she sees.

I'm so happy to be halfway through the second trimester, every single day I am reminded of God's miracles.  They are so much more obvious when you have to wait for them to happen.  I forgot to write last week that Aidia is now measuring normal for the due date instead of big (hooray!!)  I love my Jack Jack but if I can avoid birthing another baby over 9 lbs, that would be great.  It gives me more confidence that my due date is correct also (Jack was likely two weeks late.)  

I've been thinking this week about the hymn "I Need Thee Every Hour."  We sing "I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain."  That has never struck me as more true than in my life now.  I used to think in our time of joy we needed God because we just needed to be thankful.  Now more than ever, I need Him to help me feel my joy.  We have dreamed of this time of miracles for so long, that I struggle believing, thinking, "it's too good to be true."  I got so used to the idea that strong faith meant having the faith "not to be healed" and knowing that life would still be ok, and even good.  Faith can also mean believing in being healed.  God never left us even in our darkest days, and I still need Him now to help me celebrate our joyous days.  I pray with gratitude, but I also pray for help to have faith to be happy and have joy.  We really do rely on him every hour.

I've had a good time this week starting to prepare the house more for baby's arrival.  We were able to redo a dresser we found on KSL a month ago for a killer deal.  I'm so excited about it!  Up to this point we've only primed it (and I painted the knobs) but it already looks fantastic!  We were going to leave it like that, but my parents are going to help us out so we can buy some paint!  Now I'm excited all over again to finish it!  Since Aidia won't have her own room until we move (her crib will be with us, and her dresser in Jack's room) this dresser is going to hold basically everything of hers... baby central station.  I'm glad we found such a fantastic dresser with lots of storage.

I've also been picking up smaller baby items as I find good deals on them.  I sell Jack's too-small clothes to a Kid-to-Kid and with that credit I can pick up things for Aidia.  I scored this week!  I was especially happy to find a little bracelet.  It looks big for a brand new baby...but the newborn ones would never have fit on my squishy Jack!  We'll just have to see how chubby she is.

My favorite is the pink doctor bib!  Dream big baby girl!

My doctor appointment went really well this week.  Between the OB, the MFM, and myself, we have finally come to the consensus that I will stay on the aspirin through delivery and six weeks postpartum.  I'm so happy that we've come to this decision- it's what I've felt best about in my gut the whole time.  The dose is low enough that it shouldn't effect anything with delivery at the hospital, like an epidural or emergency c-section.  We were able to plan out prenatal care like the tdap shot and thyroid checks for the next few months- and I always do better with a plan!  Thankfully, because of my history, we are still planning to do two more ultrasounds.  One at 28 weeks and one at 34.  Peace of mind is priceless and I'm anticipating those ultrasounds will give me just that.

Countdown!

Kevin and I were talking about how we feel like these last 19 weeks are going to drag.  Not because I'm "sick of being pregnant" but because we are just so anxious to have her here healthy and safe and be able to hold her in our arms.  Nonetheless, I'm sure by the end it will seem like it went by fast.  I'm trying to enjoy it one week at a time!  We're also excited for Kevin to finish his last rotation, pass the licensing board, graduate, and start working!  So...lots of that needs to happen before Aidia makes her appearance.  I'm trying to focus on spending my time with Jack Jack right now.  He starts full day Kindergarten in two weeks, so these are our last long days together with him as an only child.  Trying to treasure them despite the fits he throws!

<3