Heartbeat

I did not sleep at all last night.  Aside from fighting off a cold, I was tossing and turning and dreaming of ultrasounds.  I was up every hour and I never thought morning would come.  When morning came, I felt super sick to my stomach.  I couldn't tell if it was morning sickness or nerves, but I tried to take it as a good sign.

We made the hour trip to the MFM and sitting in that waiting room was about the most painful experience ever!  Was my baby going to be healthy or not?  Alive or not?  The ultrasound tech surprised me and said she was going to try to just use a belly ultrasound instead of a vaginal one- which I thought was unheard of this early.  She pushed the wand down into my belly, and immediately- there was baby.  I saw him or her right away.  I heard myself gasp because there was that unmistakable flicker- a heartbeat.  She measured the cardiac activity and said every thing was normal- heart rate was 144 (so perfect!)  I think I was in shock.  I didn't cry or gush or anything- I was just totally numb to what was actually happening!  How could this be real?  The babe was measuring 6 weeks and one day, which is exactly where I am- that keeps my due date as December 28th of this year.  Now I really can't wait for Christmas!

The doctor came in to talk to us.  He reminded us that we're "not out of the woods yet" but after such a victory I don't really care.  My family has four heartbeats!  That is the best mother's day present I could ever ask for.

I told myself I would relax once I passed six weeks.  Then I told myself I would relax once we saw a heartbeat.  I am still trying to relax.  I know some anxiety is going to be normal- but I really am doing my best to enjoy it.  I have so much joy knowing there is a live and healthy baby growing right now.  I just need to focus on that day by day, and as time goes on I think I'll accept our risks getting lower. We have worked so hard for this for so many years, I really want to love every minute! I have just under two more weeks until our next ultrasound to check how baby has grown.  I'm trying to plan on everything going perfectly.  I know we have an entire prayer army out there.  I never have to feel alone.

Worth It

my TWO babies!!

If anyone wants to watch Jack's adorable reaction to the news, I'll put the link below.

https://youtu.be/JMihtbEXsRU

I love you all and thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart, for your support.  You all remind me how wonderful the world really is.  I have to also thank my Heavenly Father- who has been more than patient with me, has taught me so much, and is blessing me with my fondest dream. <3