10 week update

Ten weeks- double digits!  Baby is developing fingernails and hair now!  He or she is also swallowing and kicking around a lot (even though I can't feel it yet.)  Only three more weeks of this miserable first trimester.  I say that mostly because of the anxiety.  I will feel like baby is safer in the second trimester- and eventually feeling those kicks will be reassuring.  I'll be happy to be rid of the morning sickness too- but I can't let myself complain about it too much because I'm just so thankful we've made it this far.  I miss my medicine that helps me sleep through the night.  I don't dare taking anything to help in the first trimester, even if it's on the "safe list."  So at this point I'm exhausted but somehow still up half the night.  But it's worth it.

Animation of baby at ten weeks along

 

hahahahaha

The week hasn't been flawless, but overall it's been really good.  At the start of the week I was losing more old blood, which is always nerve racking.  Fortunately, around the same time we were able to find the heartbeat on our Doppler for the first time.  It is such a beautiful and reassuring sound!  It's not consistently loud enough to get an accurate heart rate reading- but we just count it ourselves :)  Video below:

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wedHRM48-Cc

My big boy graduated preschool this week and I am so proud of him!  I hope he never feels lost in all the chaos of the pregnancy.  His teacher had lovely things to say about him (which made me emotional) and we are preparing to start all-day kindergarten in the fall.  It's going to be quite the transition and my mommy heart feels all kinds of confused about it.

After hearing a strong heartbeat, the risk of a miscarriage by 10 weeks is only 2%.  Some studies say it's even lower.  You would think my risks are higher- but since our other babies had initial issues in the DNA, it seems like this pregnancy is in a different category and probably more normal as far as risks go.  I just love being to a point where the risk of losing the baby is much lower!  

I've had constant anxiety about my subchorionic hemmorhage.  I've been wondering if it has been growing due to the aspirin.  It also seems to risky to stop the aspirin because of the risk of baby's cord clotting. I was getting nowhere with the OB checking it and the MFM wouldn't look since I was under the care of the OB.  I talked to my nurse at the fertility clinic and she thought it was ridiculous of them not to at least check and follow up.  I know all we can do is monitor it, but if the bleed became really large I would need to know so I can make an educated decision about the blood thinners.  My nurse is in the process of referring me to a new MFM in Provo and I really hope I get better care there.  I don't know what I would do without my fertility clinic.  They get it.  She decided to order a scan for me at the hospital in the meantime.  I was so ready to know what was going on so I could hopefully have some peace.

My sister brought me this "Worth the Wait" maternity shirt and it's so true.  It's been worth the wait to get to this point and it will be worth waiting the rest of this scary pregnancy to hold my little one.

The hospital was able to squeeze us in for an ultrasound and for the most part, it was a very happy moment.  Baby was measuring three days ahead growth-wise (which put our due date in the report on Christmas Day!)  He or she had a great heartbeat, and was moving around.  I loved seeing baby kick and punch and wiggle!  It was amazing to see and connect with them in that way.

Look at baby!  Punching and kicking at the same time!

The radiology report listed the new measurements for the bleed- 2.6 x 1.9 x 0.7 cm.  So that looks about 10mm larger than two weeks ago.  I'm trying to keep a few things in mind.  First- the OB told me she didn't know how to measure the bleed when she did, so the initial measurement might have been off.  Second- a small amount of growth in the bleed is normal since everything else has grown (according to the ultrasound tech).  Third- it's hard to measure a 3D shape that can change.  Everything being said, it's not a HUGE bleed.  The aspirin is PROBABLY still the smartest choice for now.  My guess is we just need to keep an eye on it every few weeks, and I hope the MFM will go for that.

The best news is that the bleed doesn't appear to be near the placenta.  That is a huge relief!  I'm not as worried about the SCH peeling the placenta up, and baby seems unaffected for now.  I REALLY don't like that the measurements are larger, even a little, but I know that SCHs often don't resolve until like 20-24 weeks so I'm trying to be patient and not too worried.  It's not easy.  There's not a lot you can do with the situation except watch it and wait and hope.  The best I can do is avoid lifting, heavy housework, stay on pelvic rest, and put my feet up as much as possible.  It sounds relaxing but it makes for really long days where I sit and stress about everything I "should" be doing.  I really hope that I'm making all the right decisions.  Baby aspirin with SCHs is a debate in the medical world so I have to rely on faith.

All life is fragile- not just life in utero.  All we can do is enjoy each day and each blessing- and hope for the best.