Aidia's Birth Story

My sweet baby came into the world 8 days ago- Aidia Omera Hanni was born December 22, 2016 at 5:13pm.  7 pounds 10 oz and 19 inches of perfection.

Words can't describe the disbelief, awe, and joy I experienced when she was born and immediately given to me.  I just kept saying "You made it! You did it!"  I couldn't believe that I was living my dream and that my baby was alive!!  I'm so thrilled to once again have a live birth story to share.

The night before my induction was really strange.  It was so different than going into labor spontaneously.  It was hard to go to bed knowing that first thing in the morning we were headed to the hospital to have a baby.  It was really happening.  It's also nerve racking because giving birth is no picnic.

Night before the induction.  Jack was sad to have us leave him for a sleepover.

I called the hospital at 5:45 Thursday morning and they said they had a bed for me and to come to the hospital.  I was so relieved once we were at the hospital on the monitor- because at that point I knew if something went wrong, it would be noticed immediately and they could do an emergency c-section to save her.  I had been so afraid that she would die in the night before my induction.  I was really happy to be in the hospital!

We got settled, placed the IV, and started Pitocin at about 715am.  Pitocin goes in doses of "4" from 4 to 20, and they bump it up every 30 minutes or so.  It's brutal stuff because unlike your body, it doesn't give you a break from intense contractions.  It's purpose is to give you strong and painful contractions (the kind that actually do something) about every two minutes.  I wanted to hold out as long as I could before pain relief so that I could feel my body working and not slow anything down.

Alas, my body likes to progress slowly.  Just like with Jack.  Thankfully my labor was shorter than with Jack- but it was still a process.  After a couple hours I had only dilated a half centimeter more and my cervix was still high and somewhat thick.  I was willing to be patient as long as baby didn't seem stressed.  I lasted about 3 hours on the pitocin (it was now at level 16/20) before I felt like the pain was getting to be too much (since this was likely going to take all day long.)  Having a natural birth is one thing- but trying to do pitocin without pain relief is a whole different game.  When the anesthesiologist came to place the epidural I was really nervous (when I had it placed with Jack it did NOT go well...that's another story.)  I told him about my spinal fusion and he thought he could still get the catheter in the right space.  The first numbing shot hurt, but the second is the deep local and it really feels like someone is punching a hole in your back.  I was so relieved once the injections were over- but as much as he tried, he could not get the catheter in place because my spinal fusion compressed everything.  He apologized and said he was going to have to start all over in a higher spot.  I felt a bit overwhelmed in that moment- especially trying to hold still during those contractions.  Eventually we got through the pain of having the pain relief placed.

They brought in a peanut birthing ball and put it between my legs as I was lying on my side to help everything open up.  It basically put one of my legs straight up in the air.  Even with the epidural it was pretty uncomfortable to stay like that for hours.  The epi I had allowed me to still move my legs around and have some control- but numbed most of the pain.  Hours and hours passed.  I tried to focus on music playing and tried to relax and listen to baby's heartbeat.  Finally I was at a 6 when they checked me.  I thought that things would go fast from there.  About a half hour later, I was in so much pain I was crying, so they redosed my epidural and checked me again- I was at a 9.

As they started prepping the room I started yelling that there was a ton of pressure and please someone come check what was happening.  I was at a ten and ready to go.  The doctor came in and they got out the lovely wide stirrups that make you more exposed than anything imaginable.  I started pushing right away, but could tell that my pushes didn't feel very effective.  After a couple minutes the doc said that Aidia was faced sideways instead of face down.  Very carefully he put both hands in and spun her head as I pushed (not pleasant.)  We did that a few times and once she was face down it was much easier to feel effective pushes.  Her heart rate suddenly dropped very low, like into the 50s.  The doctor calmly told me not to push through the next few contractions to let baby recover.  I was given oxygen to help her.  Once her heart rate came back up I started pushing again, and as she crowned the cord was around her neck.  My doctor carefully slipped it over her head.  A few more pushes and she was born!  It was such an emotional moment for me.  She was so perfect and beautiful.  And super purple.

After they rubbed her for a few minutes they took her to the warmer and had the respiratory therapist come in.  She sounded like she was struggling to breathe and cry.  She kept grunting and it was a scary sound for me to listen to.  They took her to the NICU to get her on CPAP right away, and Kevin went with her.  After Jack was born I pretty much just passed out- but with Aidia's birth I was not very aware of myself at all and was totally focused on her well being.  I hated that she had to leave me right away before I could really hold or feed her- but I wanted her to go because her breathing was terrifying to me.

The good news was that I didn't need a single stitch.  Talk about a miracle.  You pretty much just plan for stitches after childbirth.  Since Jack was 9lb 4oz and she was 7lb 10oz, it helped a lot.  It was way less painful when she was actually born- despite the small tears I had.  Once Aidia and Kevin were gone, the nurse pushed on my belly and noticed I was still bleeding way too much.  They gave me 4 nasty chalky bitter pills to chew to help with the bleeding- and continued the pitocin to keep the contractions going.  Within 30 minutes I was shaking uncontrollably.  The medicine helped control the bleeding but I felt like I was having a seizure.  My teeth were chattering so hard I thought I was going to bite my tongue off.  I couldn't use my hands because they were shaking so badly.  After an hour the shakes were getting worse instead of better.  I felt like I had the worst flu or fever.  I don't remember ever feeling so cold.  Eventually after an hour or two they gave me something in my IV to help the shaking.  I was super emotional because I didn't have my husband or my baby with me and I felt like total crap.  Luckily I had my mom and my best friend there.  They were super supportive through that misery.  Eventually the medicine started working- warming me up and calming the "seizing."  They were able to get me up and clean up some of the bleeding and take me down to the postpartum unit.

in the NICU

It was still several hours until Aidia was stable enough to come back to me.  By then my mom and best friend had gone home, so it was just Kevin and I.  I was too anxious to sleep while we waited to see her, and I was desperate to feed her thinking how hungry she must be.  While in the NICU she got a CPAP to help her breathing, and an IV to help thin her blood a bit- she had turned beat red from there being too many red blood cells (or something like that.)  Once she cleared the NICU she was taken to the nursery for her evaluation and bath, glucose tests etc.  They wheeled me down to be with her while they did that and washed her off a bit.  It was just ecstasy to be there with her and stare at her.  She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

She was a super frantic nurser once I got to feed her because she was so hungry, which made for a hard time latching.  We didn't sleep much that first day we had her back with us.  We eventually put a catheter in her mouth while she was trying to latch and put some formula through it.  That way she could get something in her tummy to calm down and still learn to feed from mom.  Once she was full she did much better at nursing the next few times.

The next day we learned that her bilirubin levels were in the high risk zone, and she spent that day under the bili lights to fight the jaundice.  I was still able to nurse her, but she needed additional supplementation to get enough fluids until my full milk came in.  Luckily she did good with both.  I was recovering ok- the after pains were really intense.  The doctor said it was likely because this was my 8th pregnancy, and I had contractions and after pains with every miscarriage, not just with Jack's birth (they tend to get worse every time.)  I also passed a clot that was nearly the size of my foot the first time that I took a shower, and that was not a fun experience.

During all this excitement, Kevin got a wonderful phone call and found out that he had been selected for the job he wanted.  Basically his dream job right out of school!  So much excitement and stress at the same time!  He started that job today.  Currently it's an hour and a half away which means for very long days for him (and for me being home without him.)  It also means we'll be moving within the next 6 weeks.  I've been struggling to find a school who will accept Jack that we can afford.  Since he is halfway through kindergarten already and I don't want him starting over in the fall!  I'm hoping something will work out, but it has been making me sick to my stomach.  He's on a first grade curriculum/ 2nd grade reading level and I can't imagine him starting over NEXT fall in regular half day kindergarten.  I'm praying lots for him that we can find a school for our gifted boy.  Why not do everything at once?  Graduate from doctorate school, new baby, new job, move, try to find a new school...etc.  All good things though.

Jack meeting Aidia

Back to the birth story...although we thought she would have to stay in the hospital, her blood test came back good enough that we were able to come home the night of Christmas Eve!! That was so special.  My joy is so full there are literally no words.  I love her so much that it hurts!  She is so worth everything we went through.  Every procedure and injection and gut-wrenching miscarriage.  I'm glad I clung to every tiny hope that seemed so unrealistic.  I want to give my past self a big hug and say keep going!

Coming home outfit

Hanni kids on Christmas Eve

Aidia is the sweetest baby!  Even as a newborn her personality is very different from Jack and how he was as a newborn.  She is so mild.  She hates getting her bum cleaned (which is unfortunate because she has a dirty diaper almost constantly.)  Having a newborn is hard and being a week postpartum is hard.  Tears have been shed.  But I am so happy.  My mom is here to help me and that's a relief!  Plus as of today I've lost 17 pounds since the delivery!!!  Now I weigh ten pounds less than I did when I got pregnant!  Jack is also the best big brother.  I had prepared myself for meltdowns and tantrums and attention-seeking behavior but he has been nothing but helpful and sweet.  He is so smitten with his sister.  Puppy has also been good.  He hasn't been aggressive or anything towards her.  He is very curious and really wants to "taste" her head before we snap at him.  He also sits on my lap every time I nurse her to remind me that he is also my baby.

Christmas Day 2016

Best Present Ever

There are lots of big events coming up for us, but I am trying to soak in every moment.  Every cuddle and every time I get to breastfeed her.  Every new thing she does.  It goes by so fast!  I'm so thankful to my Heavenly Father for bringing my daughter safely into this world.  Thank you all for supporting us!

Present from big brother

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Rainbow Baby!

 

Today- 8 days old:

39 week update

Surprise! I'm still pregnant!  My doctors were surprised I didn't go into full labor this past week, and thus I was also surprised.  Even so, I am really grateful we have made it here.  I've been concerned about going full term because I've been afraid that baby's health would start to decline.  This stubborn and strong little girl is still healthy, and has been happy to stay put and keep growing until the last minute.  It truly is a blessing- she will do so much better after birth being full term.

With my induction being scheduled tomorrow, my emotions are all over the place.  I'm anxious and impatient, and yet time today is speeding by.  I am especially thinking a lot about my Jack Jack today.  His last day as an only child.  For more than 5 years he has been my only baby at home and has been my light and joy.  I know that adding a child will only grow the love in our family- but it is surreal to think about!  I hope I can give Jack the attention that he needs and make sure he doesn't feel pushed to the side at all.

It's also crazy to think about the fact that it's my last day being pregnant.  I'm not planning on Aidia being our last baby- but I have learned never to take the future for granted!  You never know!  I hope we wouldn't ever have another miscarriage- but it wouldn't surprise me.  I'm just trying to soak in the joy of today and take the whole pregnancy experience in.

This week was rough- despite all the good things.  It was really exhausting.

Wednesday night- I had contractions from 730pm until past midnight.  After that, they slowed down just enough to wake me up about once an hour.  I felt like I got run over by a truck when I woke up.  My pelvis was so sore and my back was killing me.  I was wishing my water would break so I could be admitted to the hospital and help the contractions get a little more rhythmic and productive.  The next day I went for several little walks to try and help move baby into a better position and get things going- but mostly the pressure was just super intense.

I only had two hours of contractions on Thursday night, which turned out to be a good thing, because we ended up going to a lunch as a family so Kevin could interview for a job.  This job came out of nowhere and is basically his dream job (hopefully I'll be able to post more details soon if he lands it!)  We heard about it Friday morning, and were already meeting with the owner of the clinic by lunch!  It was a good thing we weren't in the hospital at that point.  We both felt really good about the job.

Saturday morning I was up by 5am.  I couldn't sleep through the pain and pressure and lots of back pain.  Contractions were still just coming and going, so I was trying to get them to let up so I could sleep.  We were kind of miserable anyway because we've both had a chest cold this week.  By 7am I was overcome with emotion and crying because things kept starting and stopping.  I felt like I couldn't deal with it anymore!

Here I am with five days to go!

The sweetest gift for my girl we received this week! So snuggly and soft and perfect.  I think I'll do her growth pictures with this.

Saturday, contractions started again, only much more painful.  They stayed at five minutes apart for about 45 minutes, and as soon as I get out the app to start timing them, they spread to 12 minutes apart.  Eventually I was able to sleep.  They started again that night.

By late that night the contractions were painful and consistently five minutes apart.  I wanted to wait to make sure before going to the hospital.  We waited five hours before I finally called my brother and we headed to Labor and Delivery.  By the time we got to the hospital, they were 3 minutes apart.  They checked my cervix when we arrived, and then at 1 hour and 2 hours later.  They said unfortunately it wasn't changing fast enough to be considered active labor, and I would have to go home instead of being admitted.  The offered me a shot of morphine in the butt to help me get through the night- but that sounded scary for baby to me, so I declined and we went home upset and disappointed around 2am.  The nurse told me I was in early labor and hopefully by breakfast time it would be full labor (no luck.)  She said since the contractions were timed at 3-5 minutes apart, I would have to wait and use intensity to know when to come back in, when the pain was rated at 8-9.  At this point I hoped everything would just stop until my induction so we could get some rest.

I had to remind myself that Aidia knows when her birthday should be!  I was frustrated and embarrassed that my body couldn't seem to quite do what it was supposed to.  Being stuck in early labor for a week is terrible.

Yesterday I had my last NST and appointment.  The doctor said I was at a 3 and labor could start any time (I stopped believing that haha.)  He said the induction was on the schedule for Thursday (tomorrow) and since it was considered more medical than elective, hopefully they wouldn't have any trouble getting me in.  Apparently it's been a very busy week.  Aghhhh.  If they can't get me in for the induction I might actually die.  

I've been reflecting back on this pregnancy this morning and am in awe at how blessed I've been.  I'm thankful that so many have been able to witness this amazing miracle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNFx_5VRW9E&feature=share

I've been listening to the song "Adia"- the name is spelled different here but sounds the same- and thinking about how much it has meant to me over the past several years.  I can't believe our dreams are coming true!  Somebody pinch me!

A look back at this difficult, yet amazing year!

Last belly picture!

38 week update

My anxiety has been much better this week.  That's the power of prayer and a priesthood blessing- I've been more calm and I've felt more peace through each day.  It's still a scary time but I'm so thankful that I'm doing better than last week.

It's been an eventful week- but not as much as we thought it would be!  Last Thursday, the night before Kevin's graduation, I was almost sure baby was on the way.  We had just got back from a great evening at Kev's awards banquet- it was so fun to have a nice evening together.  There had been no signs of labor- until I laid down for bed about 1130pm.  That's when I was introduced to a new life experience: Prodromal Labor.  False labor is such a misnomer because everything about it is the same as real labor except for the progress.  Most of that night I had painful contractions every five minutes that lasted a minute each.  I was trying to get them to calm down because I knew Kevin would be devastated to miss his graduation.  I was really tearful and overwhelmed- but after a while I got into the zone.  Breathing through the pain, focusing, getting ready.  Just as we were about to head to the hospital around 4am, the contractions started spacing 9 minutes apart, and then 12, and eventually even further.  It was an exhausting experience in every sense of the word!  I've had it happen a few times this week.  I probably won't believe it when I go into real labor.  I looked up ways to "deal" with it online...but thus far my technique has mostly been "begging the good Lord for mercy."  You get into the zone to run a marathon, and then it stops suddenly.  I keep telling myself it can't last forever!  It's so emotional because you think baby is finally coming, and then she stays put.  She is the baby that cried wolf!

Trying to bribe her with this cute outfit.  Come and get it!

Despite the exhausting night beforehand, Kevin's graduation was so wonderful!  Blame the hormones, but I was so emotional when they introduced "Dr. Kevin Austin Hanni" for the first time.  I'm so proud of him, and I'm so proud of us as a team.  It's so amazing to see dreams come true that we've been talking about since we started dating.  He's going to be such an excellent health care provider and I am so excited for him to get his career going.  Hurry and push the license through Utah!!

Dr. Kevin Hanni

That weekend I tried to do lots of walking to help Aidia progress down, I can feel her very low and wanted to just help the process along.  We walked all over any big store we could think of.  It was exhausting but actually felt pretty good to get some exercise.  Even comparing my belly from two weeks ago there is no doubt she has dropped!

Walking around with Jack

We did have one hospital visit this week unfortunately.  It wasn't due to false labor though.  I was on my fourth day of what seemed to be normal "bloody show."  Sorry but that's what they call it.  Just another sign that labor is on the way.  However, Sunday morning I passed a clot that was so dark it was like purple or black.  I called the nurse thinking, "It's probably normal..." but the nurse said it was not.  She was also concerned that I had bloody show for four days in a row because she said it normally only takes 24 hours to lose your plug.  With my family history, she sent us to the hospital to check on baby and make sure we weren't missing anything.  I waited five hours to try and avoid going in, but when I passed some more dark blood we went in.  They watched Aidia on the monitor for a while and sent me for an ultrasound to check the placenta.  Thankfully, it didn't show any signs of clots or issues.  It also showed her as being closer to 7 pounds instead of 8 (hopefully it's right... Jack's was wrong.)  While I was there, they checked where I was at and said I was 60% effaced and soft, and was a 2 on the outside of the cervix, funneling into a 1.  I was happy with that progress since I had been barely a one, and not effaced or soft at all 4 days before.  All that false labor was doing something.  Her heart was good enough for me to be sent home, with a follow up NST the next day.

The NST went great- fluid level looked fantastic.  They had a hard time getting her heart to stay on the monitor because she was "so low."  Happy dance!  I felt much more confident about letting her come on her own time once I saw the placenta is still functioning well.  I needed that peace to let her grow a little longer.

Yesterday I had my 38 week appointment and my doctor could tell how miserable I feel.  Like things just need to get going!  She checked me and said I had progressed to being dilated to 2.5cm and now was 70% effaced and baby was at a -2 station.  She said that's normally baby's position for second time moms when they go into labor.  She tried to help get things going by "aggressively" stripping the membranes.  It was excruciating.  I wasn't expecting it to hurt so much for the sac to be separated from the cervix.  Mostly it was pain from feeling like my skin was going to tear from the pressure of her fist.  I am not a muppet.  It was embarrassing because I screamed and I couldn't even help myself.  When I left the office I kept my head down...sorry you all heard me in agony...  She said the procedure was successful though since I was far enough dilated she got all the way around the sac.  She gave me a 50/50 chance of either having my water break or going into labor within the next day or two.  This was about 26 hours ago...so I'm still holding out hope haha.  She said baby feels big already as she felt around my belly which is one more reason she wanted to get things going.  I was super exhausted and uncomfortable the rest of the day.  I didn't have much pain leading up to actual labor with Jack, so this is new for me!

I really hope this is my last update until the birth story!  If not, we have 8 days until my induction!

All I want for Christmas is you!

   

37 week update

They don't call 37 weeks "full term" anymore.  Now they call it "near term" and full term starts at week 39.  However, we have passed the "premature" stage and that is fantastic!  My doctor called the hospital today to schedule my induction for December 22nd (which will mark 39 weeks and 1 day) and since I'm writing this at 830 at night, that means we have exactly 2 weeks to go!  I have to admit I am afraid to go two more weeks because at my appointment today the doctor felt my belly and estimated baby at currently being high 7 to low 8 pounds already.  I don't understand how I make such huge babies.  I seriously am still losing weight half of the time they weigh me.  I've been eating a diabetes diet so...I guess she's just healthy right!  Jack's birth was so difficult with him being over 9 pounds and I really don't want to end up in a C-section for a stuck 10 pound baby- so I am hoping mother nature helps me out and I deliver earlier.  I can't imagine going to 40 weeks especially when she's already this big.  I'm extra thankful for that 39 week induction option.  I am running out of room as evidenced by the picture I took earlier this week:

The good news is I did accomplish a lot this week.  I threw a bridal shower for my soon to be sister-in-law, finished Christmas shopping and wrapping, finished all preparations for Kevin's graduation (this friday!), and am almost all finished with my thank you notes.  My house is not finished yet, but I do have a "nesting list" typed out that Kevin and I can work on this upcoming week as he will be finished with all classes.  Whew what a crazy time with so many different things going on.  Between finals, graduation, job offers/searching, Christmas, and being almost due with a baby- the anxiety has been high.  I'm more hungry, more worn out, and more impatient waiting for labor to start- even though it would be on the early side right now (but I mean she's already 8 pounds and I'm dying!)  At least I get these puppy snuggles at night- he always wants to snuggle my bump right on the skin- tries to nudge my shirt up and everything.  I sure hope he likes her this much when she's born.

Plus, my best friend's grandma made me this AMAZING rainbow blanket and it looks huge and comfy (the picture is of my friend's hubby holding it up for me.)  I've never even met her grandma and the kindness is incredible.  I want to take it to the hospital for me to snuggle!  All these little things really brighten my week!

I had one day this week where I felt a lot of reduced movement.  I was trying to convince myself it's because she's dropped, but it was really scary.  I continue to do kick counts at home to try and keep my mind at ease. Sometimes I play music for her and she seems to like that (she likes Adele like her brother.)  Luckily the next day her NST showed her as being healthy- but I wish it felt like a bigger relief.

I have to be honest and say that my anxiety is definitely getting worse instead of better.  I've been blessed with a support group where I can actually discuss my fears and they are so well understood.  Most places it seems inappropriate to talk about the fear of "late fetal demise."  But it's something you have to talk about to get through.  Now that we are "near term" it is very difficult to feel like my baby is safer outside than inside.  The risks of her coming a bit early seem so insignificant compared to what I feel like is the risk of something going wrong in her last two weeks in the womb.  A live birth still seems too good to be true most of the time.  It brings me comfort to know she is ours forever no matter what happens.  I know that her life has already started- she can hear us and think and remember things- she is already her own little person.  It just feels like those first few early weeks all over again where each day I am just in agony and worrying if everything is still ok.  This is the most intense and difficult thing I have ever done.  PTSD rears its ugly head again.

The worst has been at night.  I have terrible nightmares and toss and turn constantly.  I snap awake out of a dead sleep wondering, "when was the last time I felt her move?"  If I wake up to use the bathroom (which is often) I can't go back to sleep until I feel a kick.  Sometimes it can take an hour, and Kevin wakes up to me sitting up in bed sobbing that the baby isn't moving.  I know a lot of this comes from the fact that this is my 8th pregnancy and I want to hold a second baby in my arms.  I think a lot of it comes from my life experience also.  I grew up watching a family member (with the same blood work-up as me) struggle in this area.  She had multiple miscarriages.  Over the course of a decade she also had two stillborn daughters that were full term.  My understanding is her last daughter passed away the night before her scheduled c-section with no warning and I don't believe they ever found a "cause."  I think my problem is that I see myself so much in her that I'm waiting for the same thing to happen to me.  I wish they would take the baby early- but there is no medical indication to do so.  That is what makes my anxiety so crippling- I struggle to find peace.  I keep praying for faith and peace, and sometimes I ask for that tender mercy of allowing me to go into labor early on my own, to bring us relief from this painful worry.  If something happened and she could have come early and been ok I would never forgive myself.  But I'm not really in charge of that.

I tried talking to my doctor about it today- she told me that my perspective is skewed (obviously I've lost six of my own and watched so many others lose babies, in my family and support groups.)  It's just all too real to me.  The only thing she offered was to start me on an anti-depressant, but said it likely would take longer to start working than I have left in my pregnancy anyway.  I declined it.  She checked my cervix and said I'm still at a 1, but did the painful little trick of "stirring things up in there."  She said it wasn't exactly stripping my membranes, but kind of.  I bled from it most of the afternoon and had more contractions.  I hope they continue instead of slowing down. 

After talking to the doctor and feeling so discouraged that my fear isn't understood or validated, I did what any grown woman would do and called my mom to cry to her on the phone.  My mom, being the medical professional RN that she is, said I needed to go to a movie with a reclining chair and give my mind a break for two hours.  She sent us some money over Venmo and the three of us went on one last date to Moana.  I think it really was what I needed.  Mom always knows.  Plus, she understood the fear and the risk- she's seen everything that I have seen happen in our family.  I think I'm going to ask Kevin for a blessing tonight.  At this point, it's once again trusting God and putting our little girl in His hands to take care of.  I'm trying to be brave and strong.  I'm so fortunate to have wonderful supportive people all around me.  I pray she comes very soon.  If not, I hope I can find the strength to endure two more weeks.

Reclining seats!  Please ignore how exhausted and miserable I look here...

9 month update

We are so happy that we have made it to 36 weeks!  Though it is still early for her to come, I feel confident that she is developed enough that she would be ok if delivery did happen at this point.  I was a 36 weeker myself (and I turned out ok, right?)  I don't have any reason to believe that she needs to come early though!  Her NST was great this week.  I still have 3 weeks left unless Mother Nature has something else in mind.  My appointment this week went well too.  The doctor wasn't happy that I've lost two more pounds- but baby is growing fine so I'm going to say it's a bonus.  He was like, "How did you lose two pounds over Thanksgiving?!"  Two words.  Gestational Diabetes.  I have to watch everything I eat!  They did my Strep B test and once that comes back we will get the induction on the schedule!  I finished typing up my birth plan today.  I tried to keep it simple- especially knowing that it's all best-case scenario and you never really know what's going to happen.  I think it's a good idea to have your plans and wishes in front of you though, and try to work toward what is best for you and baby.  

Thanksgiving

I'm starting to have signs that I'm in the final month- she is starting to drop slightly lower (which is painful but I'm thankful to breathe a little easier.)  I've had lots more cervical pain and contractions this week, so I can tell my body is gearing up.  They checked my cervix yesterday and I'm dilated to a 1cm.  That is fantastic!  It's not too much to make us worry about preterm labor, but it tells me that my body is cooperating.  I'm hopeful that I will dilate a few more centimeters before induction which would make it that much easier.  Natural dilation is always easier and less painful that forced dilation.  I have been increasingly anxious.  It's that feeling that there is not enough time to finish everything, and yet being impatient for her to arrive safely.  I'm trying to enjoy little moments with Kevin and Jack- knowing that our family won't have the same dynamics again.  Especially relaxing late at night with Kevin, I think I will miss that.  Soon we will be sharing our room!

We have a few more things ready to go now.  The carseat is installed and ready in the car, and our Owlet baby monitor arrived this week.  Some people don't like using pulse ox type monitors at home because of possible false alarms- but I know myself and my anxiety.  I would much rather deal with a few false alarms than feel like I can't sleep in case my baby stops breathing in the night.  I'm telling you I never slept peacefully the first year of Jack's life.  I love that I will be able to check her vitals from my phone in live time- that allows me to check on her without going in the room and waking her up!

We have a full car!

The worst part of this week was ANOTHER hospital visit.  On Sunday I woke up with a bad headache, so I decided to stay home from church and rest to keep my blood pressure down.  When Kevin got home he checked my pressure and it was 150/100.  Noooo!  Instead of calling the doctor and being sent straight to L&D- we decided to see if we could get it to come down at home.  Slowly but steadily, it came down through the 140s and eventually into the mid 130s so I felt ok staying home and not calling.  I took some headache medicine and tried to rest.  The next day, my blood pressure was good in the morning, so I was up and working on things.  By the afternoon, the headache was back and my pressure read at 156/100.  That was alarming, so we called.  The OB sent me to the hospital to repeat preeclampsia labs.  Wouldn't you know it, by the time I was settled in a hospital bed, my pressure was back to normal!  I was beyond frustrated.  I either need treatment for this or not, but I hate being a frequent flier to the hospital.  I'm like...please believe me...it was really bad, my head is screaming.  The nurses told me not to take my pressure so often (even though we only took it twice that day and the doctor told me to watch it closely if we get a high reading.)  The cuff has been checked for accuracy and Kevin takes it manually- so we knew it was all over the place.  I started getting LOW readings in the hospital and it was so weird.

Thankfully, my labs came back mostly good- and we are guessing that I'm just getting migraines that are causing the high blood pressure instead of the other way around.  Which is safer for baby- so I'm good with that.  I have been instructed to lay in bed on my left side at least three times a day to avoid it spiking again.  I've been working on that even though I get stressed out- and it seems to be helping.  Even though the hospital stay was frustrating, I was glad that I got to come home again.  The good news is that baby girl was so active in the hospital, the nurse had to come hold the monitor on my belly for an hour straight to try and get a good reading on Aidia.  She said "I can't believe how active this kid is.  She must be healthy."

Jack gave Aidia his "new old Mickey" as he calls it- because it matches her crib and he knows babies see black and white well.  I love seeing how much he cares for her already!  Her grandma also made her a "My First Christmas" ornament and I love seeing it on our tree!

Sweet little girl, how could you even know how much love this world already has for you? You are adored. You are so blessed to be born completely surrounded by those who care so deeply for you. Cards and gifts and well wishes have been pouring in from all over the place! Words can't describe how much your Daddy and I love you, and what we would give for you. We have given all we could to bring you here, and you are living proof of God's miracles!

Girl Time!